A new year, a new start

I've been bad about blogging lately. I've noticed that as the year started, I wrote about everything good or bad (but it seems mostly bad). I held off mostly because I was swamped, but also because I wanted desperately to write positives more than negatives. The last few weeks of school were full of both positives and negatives, and were intensely stressful in my attempts at trying to tie things up with my Fellows courses as well as getting my students to reach mastery on main idea and details.

The break was much, much needed. I'm disappointed that it was only 1.3 weeks long, but I can't complain too much because of the fact that most people don't have time off at all, whereas I have given time off. I'm trying to keep that into perspective.

However, we start up tomorrow with a teacher work-day. Can you believe it? I'm getting nauseated again just at the thought of going to work again. The thing is... I have no reason to be this "scared" or "upset" or anxious about going back. I have a general idea of my classes still, since Laurencia fought for me to keep my numbers relatively the same, so it shouldn't be The Giant Switch of 2nd Quarter. I know I'll have new students, but in small numbers that's an okay deal. However, I'm getting all twisty and knotted up inside regardless. It's stupid. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be getting sick to my stomach. I need to get over this bullsh*t.

The day before the last day of 2nd quarter, I had my students do a Teacher Report Card on me. It's a reflection form where they get to grade me on my performance over the quarter (or semester, for the handful that stayed with me after the switch). It was out of 75 points on a 1-5 scale that they could grade me, and it ranged from how respectful I was to the students, to how well I taught the content. They also got the chance to write my strengths and weaknesses, as well as recommendations for what I could do to improve as a teacher. I got an overwhelmingly positive report--a chunk of students didn't take the questions too seriously and just gave me all fives, while many actually read and gave their honest opinion.

Two weaknesses that really stood out to me (among the many "give more free time"s) were two students who wrote, "Be more confident." As it was anonymous (so the kids didn't feel pressured to lie to make me feel better, though many chose to tell me my score anyhow) I don't know who wrote it except for one girl. But it's those types of responses that really tell me how the students see me. And considering that those two responses came from the same hour--second hour, the first of the day for me--it shows me that I need to brush up on my lessons a little more before second hour arrives so that I am more confident in the material. I'm definitely going to use that report card again to see how the scores and comments change over the next semester. Also, my principal gave me a really good comment on an evaluation regarding the teacher report card, telling me that it was a great form for reflection. That made me pretty happy since she doesn't give out great remarks like that too often.

Moreover, I'm going to attempt to use the first two days back at re-establishing the procedures and incorporating new attempts at getting Read180 to flow more smoothly. Hopefully, taking the time out to literally try Read180 at a slower pace instead of just throwing the students into it again, will lead to a better outcome for the classes.

I promise, also, to try to be better about blogging. I just want to see the positives over the negatives. And I'm going to do my very best!