Was I right?

I'm unsure if whether I did the right thing or not. I mean, I've been in her shoes--I've been in that spot where you think that no one cares about you, and that no one sees that you're in pain; you don't do your work because you don't care anymore, and you're bad to yourself because you don't care anymore. At Lauren's age, I didn't do drugs like she does, apparently. I didn't smoke. But mentally, I understand where she's at.

One of my sixth graders got in a fight today with another girl. Now, I wasn't there, but I heard second hand from another teacher that apparently it stemmed from the question that Lauren asked another girl: "Do you smoke weed?" Somehow, the conversation escalated to the point of both girls shoving one another and ending up in a fight later in the day. Lauren's getting suspended and the other girl is getting ISS for fighting back, since Lauren started with the shoving.

Lauren's background tells me something of her mental state at the moment: her mother and father both left her, so she's living with her grandma who apparently has a very hard time taking care of her. Lauren's in the quiet rebellion stage; she's not flamboyant or loud in class, and she's the opposite from disruptive by barely speaking up at all. She's one of my best students, actually.

So, when I was leaving today, I saw that Lauren still had no one to pick her up. The other girls' parents had showed up, talked to the teachers, vice principal, and a translator, and had left. An hour after school ended, she was still in the building waiting for someone to take her home.

I didn't take her home. I thought about it for a moment, but cancelled that idea. Too much of a liability--what if I got hit and she sued me? I could legally be sued for something like that. So I did the next best thing that I could think of.

"Having a bad day?" I asked her, as I passed by her. Her eyes were still bloodshot from crying after being chewed out by the various people that had done so.

Lauren nodded and her eyes flamed red. "Yeah, something like that."

She looked me in the eyes for a moment, then glanced away. "I got suspended."

"I know," I nodded, and Lauren looked at me, surprised for a moment, and then looked away. She nodded and said, "Oh."

I looked at her for a moment longer and then said, "Do you need a hug?"

Lauren's eyes shot to mine and filled with surprised tears. Her face scrunched up and she looked undecisive for a moment. Then she sobbed out, "Yes," and threw herself into my arms.

I was taken a little by surprise myself; I had expected her to say no, or be more timid about it. She hugged me very tightly, crying slightly.

"You know, everyone has bad days, and that's okay. Today was just a really bad day."

Lauren nodded and pulled away, wiping her eyes. "Yeah."

I smiled at her. "But when you come back, it's going to be all right. You're going to have better days. You're not a bad kid, Lauren. I truly like you, and I believe that you have some real good in you."

Lauren smiled back and nodded, her eyes darting away from mine as she blushed.

"If you ever need me for anything, you can always come talk to me, Lauren. Just call me or something--"

"I don't have your number," she laughed. She put her hands in her pocket.

And here's where I'm unsure if I did the right thing. I stalled for a moment before finally asking,

"Would you like my number?"

Her face lit up. "Really? Okay. Yeah."

I gave it to her (again, surprised, thinking she'd say no), as well as a 100 calorie pack of cheetos since she hadn't eaten since 10 a.m. for 6th grade lunch (hell, I was hungry!), and another hug.

I left her with the words of contacting me if she needed me, and she was giggling a little when I left, seemingly cheered a little. No one had gotten her by the time I left. I don't know how long she stayed up there.

While it wasn't right that she had gotten physical with someone today, she's still just a kid and needed that assurance that it was okay to have bad days. It's okay to not be perfect all the time, and that they'll still be loved after bad decisions.

It's good to know that someone loves them. I wanted her to know that I love her, flaws and all. I hope all my students know that.