Mistakes abound

I know that as a first teacher, I'm going to make mistakes. I'm not sure if today was one, but boy... I feel like I just jumped headfirst into the deep end.

I had to call security for the first time this semester. I know there were plenty of times where I should have done it, but I am a firm believer in people changing themselves... even though that's the last thing I need to believe in right now.

Deonte, Peaire, Poncey, Alyse... they were all horrible today. They came into my room ranting about how it's a free day and they should get to play on the computer the whole hour. When I informed them that they did not deserve a free day due to their behavior on Thursday, they completely mutinied. It should also be mentioned that Walker's students were in my room today due to him not calling a sub (suprise-surprise, huh?), and Deonte decided to egg them on as well by trying to say that if you slapped a girl, they wouldn't be knocked out; Peaire and Deonte decided to ask one of my old students, Amanda, if she could come over there and be slapped. She said firmly back, "You best be turnin' around and mindin' your own business." Of course, since Deonte has absolutely no control over himself, he muttered something under his breath. Amanda, though, was smart enough to ignore it. I loved her all the more for it.

Poncey wanted a pen to write, but I wouldn't give him one until he asked politely. Alyse was pissed that I wouldn't give her a pencil that she kicked across the floor. I've got a lot of parents to call tonight.

Poncey got so incensed that he walked over to my desk and knocked my egg timer off the desk. That's when I called security. You do not destroy my shit, no matter how ticked off you are at me because you refuse to be polite and ask for a pen in a nice manner.

Mrs. Brown came down to my room and set them straight just by sitting in my room and watching. Now, why in the hell can I not have that power!?

After they left, Brown and I had a heart-to-heart. She told me that she'd come down and have a behavior plan for that class. I mean, my other classes are rambunctious and mischevious, but they do not insubordinate the way they have been. I was so pissed off at that classroom. And Mr. Walker's kids were the best-behaved out of the whole damned bunch!

Sigh. Is it awful that I think that some people shouldn't have children if they can't seem to control the little shits that pop out of their bodies? I almost want them to be released--like in The Giver. If you've read that book, you know what I mean, if not... then you'd have a very different idea of what I want.

I wish that two of those boys would just go to a different school. My life would be so much easier.